I’m trapped in a space of unhappiness. Generally speaking, I have a happy life, but there are areas of my life where I feel trapped. I mean, have you ever felt like someone was slowly suffocating you and the walls were closing in, that is the way I feel at times. I have so many goals, dreams, and aspirations that weigh on me heavily as if they are saying go, go, go, but my current circumstances say you can’t. You need this job, you won’t survive without it, you have bills, you have debt, in fact, you might need another job before you can be and do what you want to. Talking about a thought pattern of buzz kill; the epitome of dreams deferred thinking.
I started thinking how will I ever get there as tears rolled down my face. Then I had a pity party; making a list of all the things that haven’t worked out or aren’t going my way. What things? How about being 33 and still unmarried with no kids, not having yet reached my fitness goals, having a seemingly struggling business, being in financial disarray, etc. I mean I know there are worse things in life like being homeless or having a terminal disease, but often those things are not at the forefront of our minds because it is not a direct correlation to what we are experiencing, especially when we are in pity party mode. It’s all about woe is us. I sulked and sighed and then the still small voice that guides me said girl, get your butt up and get to planning your escape. It’s time!
So at 4:58 a.m. on September 3, 2017, this blog was birthed. I always said I wanted to leave my federal government comfort at the 10-year mark. I am less than 2 years away from that date so I have to get busy. A purpose without a plan is like a dream without pursuit ~ Marliceia Chavers. Now, back to that plan, where do I start? Everything I want is truly attainable, but I have to start being honest with myself by analyzing why I haven’t reached the goals I have set out to accomplish. The simple answer for most of it is I haven’t been consistent in my pursuit. I haven’t reached that fitness goal because I lack consistency. I haven’t gotten out of debt because I have not been diligent in paying it off and foregoing things I desire. I haven’t saved because I haven’t managed my money well, business is not booming because God is trying to take me somewhere and I haven’t dedicated time to promote myself the way I should in a flooded industry, and I haven’t found or been found by the love of my life because well, it just isn’t time yet. I’m single because there are still things I need to learn and do, so when I look at this list I realize that I have work to do. It’s time to stop making excuses and make a plan Marliceia.
Once we are honest with ourselves, we can then begin the journey to freedom. Freedom for you may not be the same as it is for me, but whatever it is, get the vision and hold on to it as it will be your guiding force to get you through the journey. One of the most influential people in my life was my late great choir teacher Ms. Myrna Ria Ross. When my 2002 choir mates and I were preparing to graduate, she bestowed a blessing on us based on the scripture Habakkuk 2: 2 – 3, “And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end, it shall speak, and not lie: though it may tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.” She then ever so intentionally provided us a pen engraved with our high school name and graduating year to write this vision with. Our class was particularly special to Ms. Ross, she saw so much in us as she did in all of her students, but it was just a different bond we had with her. I don’t know if she ever knew how much that impacted my life, but it is imprinted on my heart and echoes in my spirit every time I think of giving up. So here I am writing and proclaiming my destiny 15 years later.
Now that I had my pity party, accepted the reality of my temporary failures, and reminded myself that I am destined for greatness; I must now pursue it without fail. It’s time to make a plan. I’ve technically started implementing a plan, but I just didn’t write it out, so it doesn’t seem concrete. I’ve set up a meeting with a financial planner who inspires me and is affectionately known as Banker Bae. How fly is that name right. Superfly! Everybody definitely needs a financial guru in their lives especially if owning a business and or being wealthy is a goal. Now, I can get my financial life in order. In order to increase business, I finally committed to working in a local salon despite my fears of failure. I’m coming up with ideas to advertise services and expand my business reach with a product launch. When it comes to weight loss and a life of fitness. I’ve started by placing myself on a detox and setting small attainable goals such as eating super clean during the week and working out at least 5 days a week for 30 minutes. As for love, well, I’ve cleared my space of my failed past relationships still lying in the shadows in order to create clean space to allow my future love to enter. Getting rid of the riff-raff is the best decision I’ve ever made. Like I am cutting men off at the kneecaps, figuratively speaking. If you’re are flaky, deleted; If you can’t take me on a date, deleted; if you aren’t looking for a relationship, deleted; If the only contact you make is good morning beautiful and “wyd” (what you doing) text, deleted. Basically, if you aren’t pursuing me with a purpose that is more than that of a hanging out buddy or just to pass time, I am not interested. I’m pursuing destiny here, so don’t disturb me if you are not trying to be a life-giving part of my destiny. I even prayed and asked God to blind men that mean me no good to even see me. That’s how serious I am about this. This time in my life is crucial and I do not have time to waste.
I purchased the Self-Journal to help me map out some of these goals. It is a journal that helps you to break down your goals into smaller attainable steps quarterly. Every quarter you receive a new one to help you move to the next phase of your plan. The way it is formatted is ingenious if I must say so myself. It reminds you that it is important to be thankful, so every morning and night, you list 3 things you are thankful for, you set your targets for the day and evaluate what could have been better at the end of the day as well as celebrate your wins for the day. I could go on and on about the wonders of this journal, but you will just have to experience it for yourself. I am not a spokesperson for this company nor do I receive any payment for promoting this tool. It is just something that has begun to help me and I hope it can help you too.
Now that I have a concrete vision written in small attainable steps. I can chip away at these goals until I reach them and set new ones. Another key is prayer and positive affirmation. I believe in submitting my plans and desires to God and giving Him a front row seat in ordering my steps. Some of my failed attempts have been because I didn’t involve Him at all. Bad decisions created grave consequences that could have been avoided, but thank God for grace and mercy. Every new day brings a new opportunity to get it right and He has a special way of redeeming the time that has seemingly been lost.
Once those dreams and goals are written and submitted, it is positive affirmation time. This is a time where I speak what I desire to happen in my life. Our words have power. We can speak life or death. I choose to speak life. Now this can get tricky because in discouraging moments, and there will be discouraging moments, we may throw all this positivity out of the window and begin to speak negatively. We must learn to arrest ourselves in those very moments and cease the negative talk; after all, we have what we say.
Now we have all the steps to go from trapped to planning our escape to a life of freedom, so let’s recap:
- We must first be honest with ourselves and where we have dropped the ball in our journey.
- We must realize what steps we can take to turn our failures into triumphs.
- Write the vision and make a plain.
- Set small, measurable, attainable quarterly goals to help us reach our ultimate goal.
- Pray about these plans and ask for permission, blessings, and guidance.
- Affirm yourself through positive speaking of the things you wish to come. We must encourage ourselves continually.
- Relax! Life is a journey, not a destination. You don’t have to have it all together all the time, you just need to be headed in a positive direction to fulfill your destiny.
We’ve got this lovies! I believe in us.